Toilet Cleaning Instructions
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid.) 4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and a "rinse". 6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door. 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. 8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off. 9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean. Sincerely, The Dog
American Idol: Build them up, then smack 'em down
I watched the popular television show "American Idol" last night and found new respect for Kelly Clarkson. That girl made it through a lot of bullshit if you ask me. and her career is looking more promising everyday: I confess to singing along to all her songs on the radio. catchy tunes!
Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that although Kelly Clarkson is great, the show that produced her is horrible and Simon Cowell ought to be ashamed of himself. and Paula and Randy too. They line up thousands of hopefuls, march them around the cameras touting their dreams, and then the inevitable: the trio of people who have clearly forgot what it is to have a dream (since their's came true, thus putting them above it all) smash them down for the entertainment of the masses. They would argue they are doing these people favours by saving them from a life of failure and disappointment--and they find a million demeaning ways to express that point. But in reality, they are robbing these people of their hopes and dreams. Even if they don't come true, those are the things that daydreams are made of. The things that get you through the other tough stuff we all go through. I think it is awful to profit off their murder. After just watching the show, I have temporarily fallen into self-doubt myself: do my dreams sound so ridiculous if I were to put them on camera? Luckily, I have got over it, but I didn't have any national-TV embarrassment to get through. If you haven't got a spot for them in Hollywood, or wherever, just say "no thanks", Simon, you classless pig. If your harsh words are what make the show worth watching, save it for the people who get the nod. at least they will still have some pride left over after playing the role of "whipping boy." You attack innocents for entertainment. Shame on you. I won't watch again.
